It doesn’t matter how hard we might try, we all have those days, sometimes for no reason at all where we feel we don’t want to get out of bed, eat a full box of chocolates, hate ourselves for it and cry into our pillows. It must be a human thing, or maybe it’s a woman thing. I don’t know. What I do know is that I am not alone in this and it happens to everyone, whether or not you care to admit it. Sometimes things in life just don’t work out as you’d hoped, or things you can’t change happen. I’ve listed some little things that I try to remember on those days to help pick me up. We all need some positivity, I hope in sharing this post about what works for me might help you also.
Overthinking is the absolute DEVIL. We have all been there, we’ve all concocted crazy scenarios in our heads which are actually so far from the truth its crazy. The thing is, once they start, they escalate at a rapid pace snowballing out of control. It’s a vicious circle and often it effects how I behave towards other people too, which in turn makes me feel even worse. If I find myself heading down this path I immediately look for distractions, whether it be going out, grabbing a magazine, putting the TV on, absolutely anything to move my focus onto something else.
What I Can & Cannot Control
I used to get myself so worked up over things I couldn’t control. Such an easy thing to do, especially for me as I am not the most passive person and I am prone to firing up with sometimes very little reason. I have been likened to sharing the characteristics of our Jack Russell Terrier. Perhaps it’s a small person / animal thing. When I do find myself in these situations I take a deep breath and remind myself that regardless of how upset or annoyed it could make me, it won’t alter the situation in any way, ultimately the only thing it will achieve is making me feel so much worse. Easier said then done when you find yourself in those situations, but I do definitely find it easier to let go of the negative feelings over things I have zero control over then I was ever able to in the past.
Another one which is easier said then done, but worrying, what is worrying really? Yes it’s a natural occurrence for us all and often we feel that we can’t help it but have the truth be known, worrying is just a waste of our time, in my opinion at least. It see’s us spending an awful lot of time being entirely unproductive and getting nowhere, it makes us miserable and it steals our happiness right from under our noses. To quote Newt Scamander, “My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice”. Wouldn’t it be ideal to have an off switch. I hate it worry, it’s such a useless emotion which completely consumes us.
It’s Okay, Not To Be Okay
Sometimes having a good cry is exactly what we all need, it gets it out of our system allowing us to move forward from it. Find whatever works for you when you don’t feel okay, but never feel that you shouldn’t feel down, or be unhappy. It’s part of being human and you aren’t alone. Sometimes little things like running a bubble bath and lying there with calming music on really helps to relax and clear my head. A feel good film can work a treat too, I tend to opt for your typical classics like Dirty Dancing or Grease! Talking to someone close is sometimes comforting for me too. Possibly my favourite thing to do, online shopping! Always a goodie! Even if it doesn’t help it’s a great excuse to shop! Another escape for me is music, I love Freddie Mercury he inspires me so much and listening to him always takes me to a happy place. Heading out with the dog is the perfect distraction and it’s a good way to relax and clear my head too. I usually find it improves my mood quite a lot. It’s all about finding out what works for you. Sometimes none of those things will cut the mustard and the only thing that does the job at that time is to climb into bed and sleep it off and hope come morning I feel more myself again.
Always make time for yourself. You time is just as important as quality time is with anyone else in your life. Grab that book you keep meaning to start, watch a movie you want to see, have a good old pamper and make a fuss of yourself. You’re fabulous and you deserve it!
Don’t be too hard on yourself. That old chestnut. This is my weakest area and I struggle with it on a daily basis. I feel we all need to learn to be a bit kinder to ourselves, not just me. I’ve stood in front of the mirror criticising myself, telling myself I look too fat, too short, too ugly, too this, too that. Imagine if someone else said that to us, we’d feel so upset and hurt. Personally, I would want to punch anyone that said that to me. Why is it that this isn’t acceptable to be told by another person, yet we tell it to ourselves?! We are not too fat, too ugly or any of the other things we think about ourselves. We are perfectly perfect in our own little ways. We also should never compare ourselves to others. Embrace your youness.
These are some of the things I’ve learned along my way that work out well for me. I am not saying they will work for you, it is just what I find helpful and what works for me. I hope sharing this does spread a little positivity and might be as useful to others as it is for me.
Feel free to let me know if you have any good ways of dealing with certain situations that might help others in the comment section.