I hope you’re all well and have had a lovely July and been able to enjoy some of the good weather it gave us. For me, July didn’t turn out as I’d have expected. I don’t generally suffer a lot with anxiety or a great deal of mental health related issues. Yes, of course I like many of us have my own share of up and down days. Sometimes I’m all happy and smiles, then other days I can be sharp and snappy. We all get this way.
I’m not entirely sure why things were so different last month if I’m honest. All I know is that they were. I am not writing this because I want anyone to give me sympathy or feel in any way sorry for me, definitely not. Everything that went on for me personally led me to take an unexpected months break from blogging. I want to properly get back into and I feel a life update is the way to do it. Not only that but because I don’t believe we talk openly enough about mental health related problems and anxiety. It isn’t something I am ashamed of or feel it should be hidden. So many of us deal with it every single day and its okay, and it should be talked about more.
It has only been very recently I have began to feel more human, more like myself. But I still don’t feel quite there yet. As a person who doesn’t usually suffer with anxiety I found it difficult to deal with all of the feelings I had. I am no stranger to anxiety, but it has been a while since I left some of my more difficult years of living with mental health issues behind me. It almost felt that I was carrying a black cloud around over me constantly, along with a heavy weight on my shoulders. I felt far more emotional than I ever usually do, to the point I would cry for what appeared to be no reason. I fell into a routine of self neglect in a way, I wouldn’t bother with my hair, or my makeup. I went longer between hair washes than usual. I wouldn’t bother to eat a lot. I lost interest in most things and didn’t do much at all. I did try to sit at the laptop to type some posts but nothing came. It left me feeling more irritated and frustrated that I wasn’t able to type away with ease as I had done in the past. I regularly began waking with anxiety attacks in the night and my heart would be beating so hard and fast I thought it would jump from my chest. Other times I woke and had to rush to the bathroom to vomit.
Fortunately things have improved a lot since that point for me. So many people go through these feelings and it is easy to see why you could feel so alone. Being in that place in your own head can make you feel a bit mad, at least it did me. I felt worried I might never feel okay again, or be happy, or feel anything other than miserable and unhappy.
I wanted to share my feelings in a bit of an update post to hopefully help anyone else feeling any of those things and so that they know they are definitely not alone. Mental health can affect us all and at some point it will. I found that taking smaller steps toward the bigger goal helped me, making a point of washing my hair regularly, putting on makeup, being more open about my feelings and talking about them. They all gradually started to help and still are.
I feel like I’ve pretty much covered all of the things I wanted too. If nothing else it was just to put my experience out there and to talk about mental health openly because it isn’t some taboo subject that should be brushed under the rug. Just because we don’t have something wrong that you can physically see doesn’t make it any less important. Please always know that you are never alone in what you are going through when it comes to mental health.
Anyway, thank you for taking the time out to read my little life update and I hope that it can help as intended.
Normal beauty junkie programming will resume very soon.